opinions, especially from the ladies...

If she is in a public restaurant or bar, I would let the bartender or waiter/waitress know and let them take care of the situation. I would also make sure that when they deal with it that I was around to make sure something was done. If it was at a house party of something then I would tell another female to warn the girl about it and suggest not drinking.

:withstupid: something should be said to her, thats kinda {expletive}ed, im all about free choice but not that way. i think it should be illegal to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman, aint it illegal to serve alcohol to a obviously drunk man, in either situation someone is probably gonna get killed in the end.

Would this be considered child endangerment? Since it has proven affects apon the fetus? Anyway I would say something, make sure she new and if she still didn't stop, make her feel as bad as I could make her feel for drinking. Its 9 months of her life, she can go with out drinking.

:withstupid:

Call the cops.

Do something.

On 2005-12-04 05:42, Jeepthis wrote:
If she is in a public restaurant or bar, I would let the bartender or waiter/waitress know and let them take care of the situation. I would also make sure that when they deal with it that I was around to make sure something was done. If it was at a house party of something then I would tell another female to warn the girl about it and suggest not drinking.

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:withstupid: If you are in a public place (and depending on how many she has had already) it may cause a scene (and look like harrassment) coming from you instead of the help. Unless you know this female REALLY well, then her response will probably be much better if you have another female say something to her. Plus you don't want to get into something where it looks like you are a big bad man bothering a helpless pregnant female even though that is not the case. As sad as it is- some females don't really care about what they do while they are pregnant and she may not stop either way :bluecry: but I would do all I could to stop it and I'm sure most other people would too.

add: btw while this is very true- don't say this to her unless you want rage "Its 9 months of her life, she can go with out drinking." Besides the fact that to her that 9 months can seem like a VERY long time- what if she is an alcoholic?

one of my friends drank untill she thought she may be pregnant, then when she found out she was pregnant she quit drinking and everything else that could have hurt the baby. : shes been really responsible about protecting the baby and doing everything she can to have a healthy baby.

Well, I said something to this person (who is a friend of mine). I said it in a nice way and warned her of the dangers of FAS. She told me what she said she told every other guy who sais anything to her, i'm not the baby'd daddy so I don't get to have an opinion. It's bothered my all day, so I took it to the commander (who is a female) and asked her to do whatever she felt was right. I did mention to her i'm tired of hearing a having to sit through silly {expletive} like motorcycle safety briefings every month when {expletive} like this goes on and nothing is said or no education given out.

I cant tell you how many 22-25 yr old pregnant women I've seen that were stumbling drunk. It pisses me off, but I don't want to start a riot in the bar and get thrown out. There should be a law against serving pregnant women alcohol.

In the book I just finished reading (The Broken Cord) some Indian reservations (where alcoholism is a HUGE problem in men and women both) they will actually jail pregnant women who just can't abstain from drinking while they're pregnant. Over 25% of children born to American Indians on reservations have some degree of FAS or FAE. The logic is that it's far more fair to deprive that woman 9 months of her 'freedom' if it saves the baby. I say kudos to them, it's a shame we can't do that everywhere.

On 2005-12-04 10:52, Identity Crisis wrote:
Well, I said something to this person (who is a friend of mine). I said it in a nice way and warned her of the dangers of FAS. She told me what she said she told every other guy who sais anything to her, i'm not the baby'd daddy so I don't get to have an opinion. It's bothered my all day..

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Don't let her response bother you. I pretty much expected that kind of response if a guy brought it up to her. Most females like that just have the opinion that guys don't go through it so they don't know what they are talking about. Especially if the baby's daddy isn't around. No matter what her response is- she DID hear what you said and anytime you see her doing it just make a brief comment that it's not safe and hope it gets her really thinking about it. You did the right thing taking it to the commander and letting her know they need to have other kinds of safety info like that. It sucks that the situation exsists but it is really cool to have guys that are concerned about these issues too :bigthumb:

If the mother has such poor judgement to driknk while pregnant, I imagine she will make some horific decisions while she is raising the child. Say something or don't, the kid has much bigger problems anyway with a mother like that.

It is not child endangerment or anything of the sort. A fetus is not a child. That's the law, like it or not.
It is, however, incredibly stupid. If you are going to have a child, then you owe it to society and that child to give it the best chance of being healthy.
But there is nothing you can do about it.
The closest I have seen is women arrested for providing drugs to a minor. This only happens if you do drug screening on the cord blood drawn AFTER birth. If it tests positive, then she is providing drugs to a minor through the cord. It is rarely done, but I have seen it, generally in cases of women who have already had other children taken away by social services.

On 2005-12-05 19:16, Dirty Dog wrote:
It is not child endangerment or anything of the sort. A fetus is not a child. That's the law, like it or not.

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In Whitner vs. State of South Carolina, the South Carolina Supreme Court held that a viable fetus was a "person" within the meaning of the Children's Code and could be the victim of criminal child neglect just as any child could after birth.

But, it is still up to legislature to clearly define "person" and "child" in order to aid in the process.

That is pretty messed up. You have done all you can do. You atleast spoke up and said something obviosly that was more than the majority did. Maybe if more people spoke up and showed their disapproval of it the stupid bitch wouldn't be so mouthy and ignorant. I commend you for speeking up.

Hell, I wasn't even there and her coments to you make me want to KICK HER IN THE BOX
:kicknuts:

{expletive} the laws, the law doesnt make morally right or wrong.

If anyone thinks its ok to intentionally retard a baby they are {expletive}ED in the head. :fu: and can kiss my a$$

at a party, sure I would deffinately say something.

I waitressed for 7 years and there was one pregnant lady who wanted a drink and I refused to serve her. I told my boss why I refused and if she didnt like the idea she could fire me.

I think some people really just don't understand the dangers. I really hope she gave me that answer and chose her actions out of ignorance instead of apathy. My son is special needs (not FAS, but Autism) but the clinic where he goes for his sensory and occupational therapy also services FAS children and it's very sad to see, especially when you know it's 100% preventable.

I don't think anything else is going to be said about it here, but i've done all I can do. It seems each month or season the command fixes on one thing in particular to preach about and focus all their efforts on that, turning a blind eye to any 'real' potential problems. Right now all they're on is the sexual a$$ault bandwagon. It's a problem on active duty, with a much younger age group. Here, we employ mostly reservists and civilians in an older age group and the a$$ault just isn't as common, due to many factors.

I wrote a report on this subject about a year ago, one of the big problems is the effects of only having 1-2 drinks per day are not fully understood. Yes it is proven that alcoholic mothers have a high chance of having a baby with FAS or FAE, although "most" doctors discourage women from dinking at all during pregnancy, but some doctors will tell the mother its ok to drink 1-2 drinks per day if they want to.

So if she only drank a few drinks she might only be doing what her doctor said was ok to do.

On 2005-12-05 19:43, tx50cj3a wrote:


In Whitner vs. State of South Carolina, the South Carolina Supreme Court held that a viable fetus was a "person" within the meaning of the Children's Code and could be the victim of criminal child neglect just as any child could after birth.

But, it is still up to legislature to clearly define "person" and "child" in order to aid in the process.

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Not particularly relevant, I would say, since the vast majority of alcohol related pregnancy issues arise during the first trimester - well before anything remotely resembling viability. And the rest have not been connected to any particular point in the pregnancy. Further, although several courts have made statements similar to the one you mention, none of them have been tried in the courts. Nobody is being arrested for child abuse on the basis of these decisions, probably because the courts know full well that they are extremely unlikely to be upheld.

Again, while it is idiotic, irresponsible nad lots of other bad things, you are not going to see anyone arrested for drinking while pregnant.