Need advice.

906 Views 14 Replies 9 Participants Last post by Slade, Dec 8, 2005

FaTEXASSK5

Discussion Starter · Dec 7, 2005

Ok heres the deal, i have a friend that ive known for about 15 years. We grew up through preschool elem, jh and high school. Towards the end of highschool i noticed he had become kinda more distant from the rest of us. Every since i graduted 5 years ago i have seen him like maybe 8 times. well this last time i seen him he looked bad, like real bad. like sunken eyes and pale skin, thin as a rail bad. After this last encounter i KNEW it had to be some bad {expletive}. So this morning i went to the local taqueria that everyone from highschool use to go to for lunch and breakfast, and i see one of the guys that use to hang out with him (old friend), Now i didnt really hang out with the guy in highschool but my other friend did and i asked him if he knew what was up with rex? he goes on to tell me that he's been addicted to heroin, smack and crank, and that he's hiv positive, and been in and outta rehab for like 4 years easy. I was like in total shock, then the real kicker, the guy said a buddy of his sold my old friend some heron but didnt have no money to pay for it, so he payd for it in a blow job. AFter that i got my food and all i could do was walk away.........So my question is..........i mean how do you just sit back and watch one of your friends slip like that, i mean just walk away from someone you use to play tetherball and 4 square with........ How do you let sumthin like that go. Its not like he came from a {expletive}ed up home. His dad was an engineer at Exxon mobile and his mom was a teacher.........when/ where in life does someone just go so astray from what a normal easy life should be. SOrry this is so long, i guess its just a vent. I wanna try and get him some help, but i mean what can i do? he's already been through rehab plenty of times, and not worked...........i mean i am just in shock of all this.......Does anyone have any advice or past experiances with drugs that they were able to over come???

Vent over.

Thanks in advance.

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redjosh

· #2 · Dec 7, 2005

sometimes people just need a real friend to stand by with them all the way cause rehab is only soo long it can not be a junkie that got caught at the same time he did or that he met in rehab and are tring to stay clean together doesn't work that way cause one will get weak and then they are both screwed and i believe that what home you come from has nothing to do with how you turn out cause its all you no one makes you do those drugs but yourself if you want to help him i would start by finding him and getting him to do stuff that is nothing like what he does in his normal life take him wheeling fishing anything maybe even move him from his home can't find it can't have it

that is just my thought and i am a no body hope it helps and no worries on it being long stuf like this can't be said in only a couple words

ZacD

· #3 · Dec 7, 2005

Now is this a real scenario or just to get a reaction out of people, ala your drunken driving debacle from last week, or whenever that was?

Don't respond with a bunch of inflammatory remarks and :cuss: either...I don't think this response, of mine, is out of line, given your stated intention of posting that referenced thread, long after many people replied with their opinions.

redjosh

· #4 · Dec 7, 2005

its a forum he can post almost whatever he wants to get opions on

BadAssBarbie

· #5 · Dec 7, 2005

Odd you should mention that...I just went on a rant about this. Where do people go wrong? They go wrong when they start to believe that the world owes them something and claim they have a disease, not a responsibility problem, but a disease. We all control what we shoot/smoke/snort/huff and you shouldn't get a gazillion chances at rehab.
He has to CHOOSE to do it and if it were me I'd tell him flat out that he's effing up his own life and nobody can do jack about it except him...All the sympathy in the world will get you nowhere.

cummins4x4

· #6 · Dec 7, 2005

he has to WANT to quit, no amount of badgering him will make him quit. The best thing you can do is be a concerned friend . If he feels that you are belittling him or judging him he will just resent you. :baby:

Robert97dodge

· #7 · Dec 7, 2005

I have a friend in the same scenario. We went to elementary school together and then graduated high school together. After that he got started on weed, then vicadin, and not meth and coke and no tellin what else he is on. I talked to a friend of mine the other day that say him and he said the guy it really skinny. He only calls me now whenever he is stuck or in a jam. THe last time that I really talked to him was when we put his body lift on a few months ago. I think I have talked to him 4 times since then. I dont know what to do. His parents are good people too but they cant do anything either. They finally kicked him out of the house but he lives with his grandparents now. And every once in a while he will try to clean up. He will go to work on the road moving furniture with his dad for north american but as soon as he gets back into town he party's it up until he leaves. He also totalled one truck last feb because he was {expletive}ed up and he had a 02' chevy before that he managed to messs up quite a bit had lots of dents and crap in it and then his brother was {expletive}ed up one night and managed to flip it like 3 times and hit a culvert and it made the truck go up about 20 foot and hit a big a$$ pine tree. You could see where the truck hit the tree it was crazy and yet they both walked away from the wrecks.

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Slade

· #8 · Dec 7, 2005

On 2005-12-07 15:15, BadAssBarbie wrote:
Odd you should mention that...I just went on a rant about this. Where do people go wrong? They go wrong when they start to believe that the world owes them something and claim they have a disease, not a responsibility problem, but a disease. We all control what we shoot/smoke/snort/huff and you shouldn't get a gazillion chances at rehab.
He has to CHOOSE to do it and if it were me I'd tell him flat out that he's effing up his own life and nobody can do jack about it except him...All the sympathy in the world will get you nowhere.

You are correct that they have to CHOOSE to want to help themselves.

As for where they went wrong, its not that "they" ( a$$uming you mean addicts) feel anything is owed to them and you are wrong about being able to control what they shoot,snort, or sniff. An addict can't control their addiction, thats why it is an addiction. It sometimes takes multiple times at rehab because the addict will not truely get help unless they see they need help and want help.A parent, best freind, husband/wife, judge, police officer or any one else cant make an addict realize they need help. As a freind all you can really do is make sure that they know that you are there to help when it is needed.

Anybody can become an addict sucking dick for the next fix. If you say that it can't happen to you then you are a likely canidate for an overwhelming addiction. Good people with good jobs and good families become addicts.

When an addiction takes over, the addict does not see their actions as a problem, it is part of daily life for them.

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FaTEXASSK5

Discussion Starter · #9 · Dec 8, 2005

On 2005-12-07 15:02, SoulSurfer wrote:
Now is this a real scenario or just to get a reaction out of people, ala your drunken driving debacle from last week, or whenever that was?

No, this alas, is a real situation, unlike the drunk driving post, which was a bit of comical humor, this is real. And {expletive}ed up. I know ill see this cat in the obituaries soon.

Slade

· #10 · Dec 8, 2005

On 2005-12-07 16:30, FaTEXASSK5 wrote:

I know ill see this cat in the obituaries soon.

Sorry to hear it.

redjosh

· #11 · Dec 8, 2005

if you really want to help him do it just as i said before just be a real friend even if he doesn't get off the stuff you can still help him to have a better end of life and maybe atleast if he is going to die he will know who really cared i know if it was one of my buddies i would do anything for him no matter what it took cause if i was in his spot i would hope for someone to just be there

and suckin dick for a fix is probly one of the better things he has done for it atleast he is not the type (that we know of) that robbed somones g-ma for money to get it or kill a mother and child for it

DIXIEDIRT

· #12 · Dec 8, 2005

ive watched my cousin drink himself almost to death, had to remove part of his pancrease and liver i believe, i have watched all my buddys get addicted to vic's, addy's, perc's, methadone, and any other pill they can get there hands on, another boy i know has totaled like 6 trucks in a year, just totaled his 2005 chevy hd cause he was doin like 90 down his driveway and flipped the truck, luckily they were too stoned to feel anything. hopefully they all go to jail for the crap, i smoked weed for about 3 months this time last year, i stopped cause i realized it was stupid. i have no remorse for people that get hooked on drugs or alcohol, i might sound like a prick but they always make excuses and feed me B.S., im tired of it, get a set of balls and grow up!

FaTEXASSK5

Discussion Starter · #13 · Dec 8, 2005

U know my whole life ive always thought that these people (him) were the ingrate {expletive}s who were just a drain on the society and economy because theyre was simply no hope for them, so they did what the did best.... suck dick for a fix, and beg for handouts after they smoked theyre stones.

Mr Joe

· #14 · Dec 8, 2005

1) I agree with some comments made here.

2) He can not kick it on his own. If he could, he would have already.

3) He will die without quitting it.

4) He has to hit bottom before he will honestly seek help.

5) Unfortunately, a lot of folk's bottom is 6 feet under.

6) 12 step programs do work if followed exactly as written.

Ask me on PM how I know..... Try to understand that your friend is a sick person. He is not a bad person. At the same time do not enable his actions. You can not protect him from falling. He needs to hit bottom all by himself..... Lastly, pray for him.

:baby:

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Slade

· #15 · Dec 8, 2005

:withstupid:

I agree completly

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